Life Lessons #1

  • if you park with your window cracked, a bird will shit on both sides of your window at once.
  • if you leave a bottle of kahlua on top of the fridge, the cats will shatter it on the kitchen floor, proceed to get drunk and puke all over your house.
  • if you love a baby turtle, set it free. then wash your hands. those suckers carry salmonella.

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